Personal Growth

Love, Relationships and Other Decisions

It may strike you as a particularly unromantic thought that I should classify such themes as love and relationships within decision-making. After all, shouldn’t love just happen, rather than being a matter of choice?

Shakespeare understood the intricate and deeper layers of love, when he wrote in Romeo and Juliet (Act I, scene 1):

“Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake – it’s everything except what it is!”

If love creates such exacerbated and passionate feelings (from pathos, the Greek word for ‘suffering’), it may be precisely because it is never simply ‘bright’ or ‘dark’, never so obviously clear cut. Love and relationships may be exciting precisely because they are the locus of a permanent question, of a permanent tension between opposites.

Aristotle, back in the 4th Century B.C., defined virtue as “a disposition to behave as a mean between extremes of deficiency and excess”. The mean for Aristotle is the opposite of both extremes, and we reach excellence through the habit of seeking and finding this mean between all the extremes in our lives.

Love and relationships are therefore soul-enhancing parts of our lives as they pose this permanent question (Heavy or light? Bright or dark? Etc.) and require our ongoing positioning between both extremes. Love is a permanent decision.

Yet, we all know that love and relationships can also be areas of “stuckness” in our lives. We may end up either paralysed by the lack of connection (as evidenced by the proliferation of dating apps), or by the strong feeling of inadequacy in a relationship from which we find it hard to extricate ourselves.

Sometimes, this feeling is rendered more complex when we cannot even identify what we truly want. In Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Into the Woods”, one of the characters asks: “Are you sure that what you wish is also what you want?” In relationships and many other areas of decision-making, different parts of us may want different things.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were a simple formula, an easy-to-use algorithm that would solve all our decisions, in particular those relating to relationships? This is what Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, had to say on the subject:

“When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons. In vital matters, however, such as the choice of a mate or profession, the decision should come from the unconscious, from somewhere within ourselves. In the important decisions of personal life, we should be governed, I think, by the deep inner needs of our nature.”

In this context, it is essential to think of what drives us towards relationships.

According to the Jungian psychoanalyst James Hollis, the yearning to return to a mythical paradise is “the primary motive, the hidden agenda in any relationship”.

We may regard as particularly ill-omened the fact that our very first decision as human beings back in Eden, was the Original Sin – not the best start to a life of independent decision making! However, Schopenhauer regarded the original sin as our original design: through breaching the tacit contract with God, it marks the start of our autonomous lives outside the Garden, even if it comes with the yearning to return!

In my mind, this is not limited to the relationship between two people. It also describes our relationship with ourselves. As the psychologist Dr Tim Pychyl asserted, one of the explanations for indecisiveness and procrastination is the poor relationship between us and our future selves. Neuroscience has shown that procrastinators demonstrate a lack of “future self-continuity”, favouring the demands of the present self over the needs of the future self.

But let’s return to Eden for a moment. It is also, the place of God’s first question. In Genesis 3.9, God asks Adam: “Where are you?” In biblical Hebrew the question is even shorter, just one word: Ayeka?

Naturally, we can assume that God knows full well where Adam is physically hiding: his question is of an essential nature.

This is the question we should also ask ourselves when we struggle with our decisions and end up hiding behind the comfort of procrastination. Where are we in our lives, whether in our careers, in our relationships, our friendships, as well as our spiritual and intellectual growth?

Put differently, I don’t believe that there are many fundamentally complicated decisions. However, I think there are fundamentally complicated humans. And this description applies to all of us, whether seldom or often. Therefore, we need to locate the self wherever it is stuck and reignite the engine of our volition.

In The Art of Decision Making: How we Move from Indecision to Smart Choices, I have endeavoured to track the self through the nooks and crannies of our most challenging decisions. It may be stuck in any of the six chambers that make up what I describe as the COSARC pyramid:

Creativity: Did you employ enough lateral thinking when envisaging not only your options, but also your objectives?
Options: Have you considered the consequences of each option? And do you know which parts of you may want different things?
Selection: How do you operate this critical step which will cut you off from other possibilities?
Action: How do you commit to your preferred choice and evacuate doubt from the equation?
Resolve: Can you avoid the pull of potential regrets and stick with your decision without being side-tracked by any distractions or difficulties?
Completion: How can you lead your decision through this ultimate step, without either giving up too early, or dwelling in this last step so long that its completion is delayed endlessly?

Identifying our precise location and re-energising our volition are the keys to decision making. Succeeding in this endeavour leads us to the realisation that the most important question isn’t how we, as human beings, can become better decision makers. It is instead: how we, as decision makers, can become better human beings.

About the author:

Joseph Bikart is a founding member is a founding partner and director of the international consulting firm Templar Advisors. For the past 20 years, following a first career in investment banking, he has advised leaders in corporate and public life on their communication and negotiations. Through his work with thousands of decision-makers, he has created Decisiology, an innovative approach to executive coaching, drawing from his studies at the Institute of Psychoanalysis and at the Tavistock in London. He is also a keynote speaker, and a lecturer at the London Business School.

Photo by Dylan McLeod on Unsplash

Can Two Things, Seemingly Different, Be True At The Same Time?

By Dr. Stewart Bitkoff

Yes. Have you ever gotten into a discussion with your significant other where both were at polar opposites? For example one wishes to paint the house and the other does not. In this situation, we are not considering if the house needs paint, to what degree and by which standard but simply if the people involved want it painted. In this scenario there is no correct answer and in time a compromise is reached, one gives into another or the matter remains unresolved.

Now one of the characteristics of indoctrination systems, is they foster particular beliefs and state others who disagree are incorrect. Each will claim that they are “really right.” This type of belief system is rigid with little room for difference and is the most difficult to engage in compromise. Examples of indoctrination systems exist within political, religious and extremist groups. Followers of indoctrination systems often oppose anyone who does not believe similarly.

One might think that indoctrinated people are single minded extremists and maybe a bit crazy. Therefore due to their beliefs, it would be easy to recognize, discount or even marginalize them. However, this is not always so, because sometimes we are the indoctrinated. What makes indoctrination so insidious is that we are often unaware of our own intolerance, prejudice, feelings of privilege and dogmatism.

Now let us turn for a moment to specific religious or spiritual beliefs. For example does reincarnation exist or not? People’s beliefs, opinions and religious doctrines are all over the place on this. Some religions claim reincarnation is true and others do not. Additionally some religions state specific circumstances under which it occurs and many details. Yet to someone of another faith this is not a central issue and according to his or her belief system, reincarnation does not exist.

Well, which view is correct? As with our example: about painting the house, perhaps both or neither? Also in this matter we must consider the energy produced by believing and the effect it has upon reality. In the medical field, doctors and other healers are becoming aware people who believe they are going to get well have a greater chance of recovering from serious illness. The energy around belief, in part, leads to recovery.

Or perhaps there is a dimension, or energy engendered by belief, when attached to a possibility serves as a catalyst and causes things to occur.

The universe is a vast place and it is possible for all kinds of things to be true simultaneously. This is perhaps one of the hardest things to accept, but if you look closely in your day to day life, you will see that this shows itself to be true in numerous ways.

Now one person believes there is a God and another does not. Are both correct? On one level: yes. On the level of personal belief and experience both are correct. Yet ultimately, in the larger universe, only one is accurate.

It is possible for people to believe things that are not true for others and in time, it is possible for them to accept something else. People believe and accept at the level to which they are most comfortable. Also it is possible for people to believe something and cause it to happen. The individual, who goes around believing they are accident prone, creates a state of consciousness that helps pull mishaps toward them. Then others start observing, “Boy, she is really accident prone.” And the belief of others starts to make that state of consciousness even stronger. So more accidents happen!

About the author:
Dr. Stewart Bitkoff grew up in New York City and spent most of his professional career living and working in the New York City area. An expert in therapeutic recreation and psychiatric rehabilitation and treatment, Dr. Bitkoff has been on the faculty or served as field instructor for multiple colleges and universities. He has written work centering on the topic of the completed person and the original human development system. For years Dr. Bitkoff studied in two modern mystical schools. Professionally he worked to help the mentally ill integrate their altered states of consciousness into the physical world; recently he worked with children and their families as a behavioral consultant. His new book is The World of Pond Stories. To purchase your copy go to Amazon: www.bit.ly/bitkoffpond (Paperback $13.99 | Kindle $5.95). Stewart Bitkoff’s Online Store: www.StewartBitkoff.com/books

Balanced Living

By Dr. Stewart Bitkoff

Q: How do I balance the physical, mental and spiritual?

A: In order to live a complete life, a life that is tuned to your higher destiny, you must participate in the world and, at times, spiritually withdrawn. Each person is created with a multitude of talents, emotions, hopes and dreams. Each person is an ocean with vast depths of undiscovered marine life, organisms, valleys, peaks and wrecked ships with treasure. All of these capacities, with training and opportunity have the potential for expression.

The key to a balanced life is moderation, expression of the many parts of self and following a spiritual path to completion. We came into the earth phase to do and be many things. A balanced life is working in the world, sharing a family, contributing to the benefit of others, seeing each day as an opportunity to grow closer to your lasting self, and serving Truth.

Daily set aside a few moments to center yourself and listen to your own inner song. If you wish pray, meditate, send healing energy to others, or ask Truth to guide your life. Inside is a golden potential that unlocks limitless energy and guards a hidden treasure.

• Everything in moderation, this is a general rule that many ignore. Extremes are to be avoided. Even too much spiritual activity can disrupt your balance.
• Keep your conscious mind and thoughts focused on Truth. Thoughts are energy that return to us and negative thoughts return many times over.
• ‘Work in the world, but not of it.’ Have a job and support your family but keep a part of yourself apart. This is your sacred center; enter it, draw guidance and life-giving energy.
• In the morning and evening, set aside a few moments to honor that which gave us life and ask for guidance to make our life the living prayer.
• When problems are placed before you, ‘remember problems exist so you can solve them.’ Have a positive attitude, work hard and ask Truth for guidance.
• Honor your body and its emotions. Take the time to exercise, love, eat correctly, and express your feelings, moderately. These are essential aspects to the earth phase.
• Be generous and kind to others. Our good work returns to us as positive energy that raises us higher.

We are entering the age of self and leaving the age of authority. The solutions to the problems of this age are to be found within people, not institutions. While institutions may help, the solutions are waiting within each soul. Now our task is to develop better people who are closely aligned with Truth and work to solve the problems around us. Remember we are a wondrous creation that has forgotten to use its magic wand.

Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

The Three Rooms: Which Room Are You In?

by Kevin Murphy

“Remember, happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have, it depends solely on what you think.”

Although the Buddha is often credited with that quote, its origin doesn’t really matter. Few people would dispute its message. So if most people would agree that our thoughts determine how we feel, then why are we not very good at monitoring our thoughts? The analogy of The Three Rooms can help.

From The Three Rooms perspective, our thoughts can only be in one of three places: they can be in the past (the Past Room); the future, (the Future Room); or the present (the Present Room); and whichever room our thoughts are in determines our experience of life in that moment.

Since our thoughts can move back-and-forth in the linear concept of time, it is imperative that we observe our thoughts. It is that act of observation that separates our awareness from our thoughts so we are no longer at the effect of them. This awareness, or consciousness, is what all the spiritual masters have urged us to connect with.

In order to access this Divine Consciousness, we need to know where our thoughts are. That’s why the fundamental question that we need to ask ourselves is “Where am I?” In other words, “Where are my thoughts?” If you can ask and answer that simple question, then you have already separated your awareness from your thoughts. Unlike the physical body, our thoughts can be in one of three places, and each place leads to a different experience of life.

The Past Room:
When our thoughts are in the Past Room, we continuously think of events that have caused us to feel negative emotions based on what we perceive others to have said or done to us…or us to them. We tend to dwell on those thoughts which further perpetuates the negative emotions they generate. Resentment, guilt, anger and shame are a few of the emotions we feel when our thoughts are in the Past Room.

The Future Room:
This is when we think about all the things that can go wrong and we focus on the worst-case scenarios. We look around at what is, and we project the image of what we don’t have into the future. The feeling of stress and anxiety that this creates is what actually pushes away the very things we desire.

When our thoughts are stuck in the Past or Future Room, we are constantly seeing the world as separate from us, so we feel the separation from our own Higher Self. That is the singular cause of the negative emotions we feel in the Past and Future Rooms.

The Present Room:
Instead of looking at what is, this is when we focus on what can be. There is an absence of negative thought, so there is nothing preventing us from feeling our connection to our Source. The love that we feel when we are in communion with our Higher Self is the feeling that allows us to attract into our lives that which we desire.

If we are going to observe which room our thoughts are in, we need to better understand the thoughts that we are observing:

A thought is a vibration that is stored as energy in a Field of Potential Probabilities, waiting to manifest.

This field of energy has had many names. Sometimes it is called Divine consciousness, prana, or the Akashic field. Other times it is called the quantum vacuum, ether, or the zero-point field. No matter what name you apply to it, it is the Source energy that makes up all there is.

All of the inspired ideas we receive, as well as the negative thoughts we produce, are stored in the same Field of Potential Probabilities. It is up to us to determine which ones we access based on the vibrations we are producing in any moment.

When our emotions resonate with the same vibrational frequency as our Higher Self, we are able to interpret those vibrations in the form of inspired ideas. This is what happens when our thoughts are in the Present Room.

When our emotions are not in alignment with our Higher Self, we are interpreting vibrations based on what we see and hear in the form of resistant thoughts. This is what happens when our thoughts are in the Past and Future Room.

In the movie The Greatest Showman, P.T. Barnum, played by Hugh Jackman, makes a birthday present for his daughter. He tells her, “This is a wishing machine. You tell it your wishes and it keeps them safe until they come true. Even if you forget them, they are always there.”

Wouldn’t that be amazing if there was a real wishing machine? Well, there is. It is the same Field of Potential Probabilities (FoPP). Your wishes are just thoughts from your imagination. They are stored in the FoPP until your vibrational frequency lines up with them, even if you forget them. If you feel negative emotions about something you are wishing for, the manifestation of that wish will sit patiently in the FoPP waiting for you to align with the feeling of the wish being fulfilled.

Since your wish is just a thought, it will manifest if you will align with it. The only way to be in alignment with your wish is to feel as if it has already come true. The feeling is everything. When your thoughts are stuck in the Past or Future Room, you cannot align vibrationally with your wish because your thoughts are in a room that doesn’t bring you joy. There is always a gap between when we make a wish and when it manifests. You must enjoy the gap, otherwise the manifestation won’t come.

The doubt caused by our own negative emotions is the very substance that prevents our wishes from being fulfilled. The irony is that if you don’t feel the joy as if your desire is already fulfilled, then it can’t come to pass. But if you feel the joy of it manifesting before you can see it, then you will feel the joy again once it does manifest. That is what is meant by “twice-felt.” In the Past and Future Rooms, you don’t feel the joy and your wish never comes true. In the Present Room, you get to feel it twice and it does come true. It’s your choice.

Kevin Murphy is a former Wall Street managing director, high school and collegiate wrestling champion, community activist, speaker, coach, and author.

His book The Three Rooms: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life , invites you to start the process of better monitoring your thoughts–while providing you the keys to transform your life by doing so. Since our thoughts affect our health, our wealth and our relationships, observing which room your thoughts are in can change your experience of life.

For more info, visit:www.thethreerooms.com

Photo by Mahkeo on Unsplash

21 Rituals to Ignite Your Intuition

We’ve all felt something intuitively at some point in our lives. Whether it’s a mother’s intuition about her child, a woman’s intuition about her partner, or a businessperson’s intuition about the best plan of action even though it makes no logical sense, our gut instincts have guided us throughout countless situations.

Studies have proven that intuition can yield better results in decision-making than logic. Yet with the overload of sensory information all around us, the premium placed on logic and scientific thinking, and the increased prevalence of anxiety in the world today, we’ve fallen out of touch with this inner sense. Gut feeling can easily be mistaken for anxious butterflies and hold us back, and observing the people and the world around us to gain clarity and insight has been replaced with staring at screens.

Luckily, like optimism, intuition can be cultivated. In 21 Rituals to Ignite Your Intuition, Sunday Times bestselling author Theresa Cheung delves into the science, psychology, and most importantly- the behaviour- of developing your intuitive abilities. She explores what intuition is, how we can cultivate it, and crucially, how we can recognise and access it to enrich our lives.

Following on from the success of 21 Rituals to Change your Life, readers will be encouraged to follow a daily ritual plan for 21 days, which research shows is the time it takes for new patterns to become entrenched at a neural level. As opposed to purely positive thinking, which so often leaves people disappointed and blaming themselves, Theresa is here to prove to you the power of ‘I do’. With an intuition self-assessment checklist, and reflective exercises and journaling to keep you on track, this book is a practical tool to help you measure your progress along the way. Each of the intuition-boosting rituals is simple and easy to incorporate into your everyday life. Enjoyable and rewarding, they will prove the power that meaningful and intentional ritual, as opposed to mere habit, can have on your life.

Intuition is a skill that we can strengthen through intentional practice. From mindfulness in the shower to learning how to interpret your daydreams, 21 Rituals to Ignite Your Intuition offers simple and proven daily rituals to help you enhance your intuition, tune into your inner wisdom, trust your instincts, and start making better decisions in your life, career, and relationships today.

About the Author:

Theresa Cheung was born into a family of psychics and spiritualists. Since leaving King’s College Cambridge University with a master’s in theology and English she has written numerous bestselling mind body spirit books, including 21 Rituals to Change Your Life (Watkins) which has sold 14 foreign and audio deals, and two Sunday Times top Ten bestsellers. She has sold well over half a million books, and they have been translated into over 40 different languages. She has been featured in, and contributed to, national and international publications, such as The Daily Mail, and has appeared on Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan. She is a leading voice in the personal development and mind, body, spirit world, and has been endorsed by leading figures such as Deepak Chopra and Eben Alexander.

For more information you can visit Theresa’s thriving author page on Facebook and her website is www.theresacheung.com.

About the book:

21 Rituals to Ignite Your Intuition

Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Watkins Publishing (April 16, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1786781964
ISBN-13: 978-1786781963

We Have the Power to Create a New Reality for Ourselves

by Nanci L. Danison, JD

On March 14, 1994, I died unexpectedly, alone, but surrounded by hundreds of hospital workers. While in the afterlife, immense volumes of information deposited directly into my mind. I call them “Knowings.” One of them was that souls on earth have been lead astray by what I later learned is called the law of attraction. I was assigned a mission to correct this.

Law of attraction philosophy hinges on three theories Knowings taught me are untrue. There is no law of nature that draws items of wealth to human thoughts from God or somewhere in the universe; thoughts do not have physical matter and therefore cannot vibrate, have frequencies, or have magnetic properties; and, our lives are not run by someone else up in heaven or out in the universe.

While living in the afterlife, I was privileged to witness the process of Creation of the physical universe via Source’s (God’s) memories. I saw that Source did apply various laws of nature to govern the Energy it dedicated to the universe, such as gravity, chemical bonding, physics principles, etc. I also saw firsthand that Source did not make a law that allows human thoughts to attract physical things that supposedly have the same vibration or frequency as the thought.

Knowings informed me that thoughts consist of mental energy, not physical mass. They have no atoms. No molecules. Thoughts are an aspect of consciousness and self-awareness, not physical matter. Therefore they cannot vibrate or have a vibrational frequency. Nor can they have magnetic properties.

Law of Attraction Theory

Law of attraction theory assumes there is a source of wealth somewhere—either God or the universe—that is separate from us and can be solicited or manipulated into giving us some of that wealth. I learned in the afterlife directly from Source that we have never been separated from it, and, in fact, exist solely within its mind as parts of its own consciousness and self-awareness. The universe is like Source’s dreamscape. Humans and other creatures are like its dream characters. And we souls inhabit humans as Source’s consciousness similar to how we seem to be inside a dream version of us in our dreams.

In the afterlife, I learned that Source did not shove us out into a cruel world with no way to help ourselves. As small parts of Source’s consciousness, each of us souls has the same power to create the physical world our host humans experience by using Source’s power of “manifesting.” We manifest constantly—most of the time completely unconscious of it. Once prompted to remember we have this power, however, we can use it consciously to create a happier human life. My new book, Create a New Reality: Move Beyond Law of Attraction Theory, contains everything I remember learning in the afterlife about our power to manifest physical life.

I have included in Create a New Reality details on what the manifesting formula requires, as well as a chapter on troubleshooting your efforts to see what you can improve in order to manifest the results you want. Oftentimes the problem lies in the beliefs we have all picked up haphazardly and unconsciously over the years about ourselves and our place in the world. Knowings told me that we souls start forming beliefs about human life as early as infancy even though we do not have the experience or understanding to correctly interpret what we see and hear. So we develop a lot of crazy and erroneous beliefs about life, ourselves, and our place in the world. Why does that matter? Because manifesting creates life experiences to match our deeply held beliefs—beliefs we souls probably are not even aware we have. So, all you have to do to change the course of your life is find the erroneous beliefs and correct them through one of the methods I describe. You will automatically begin unconsciously manifesting your new beliefs into human life.

We are not victims of circumstance. We souls can learn to control what we manifest into human experiences and improve our lives.

About the author:

Until 1994, Nanci L. Danison, Esq. (www.backwardsbooks.com) lived the life of a successful trial lawyer with a national health law practice in a 270-attorney Midwestern law firm. Then, she died during an invasive radiological procedure before breast cancer surgery, plunging her farther into the afterlife than previously thought survivable. She returned to share her memories of what she learned.

Nanci was a National Merit Finalist in Catholic high school, where she graduated magna cum laude. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree in biology (anatomy and physiology major) and chemistry magna cum laude, a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology magna cum laude, and a doctorate in jurisprudence. She has been listed for decades in Martindale-Hubbell’s “Bar Register of Preeminent Lawyers,” which identifies attorneys peer-reviewed to have the highest level of legal ability and ethics.

Visit www.BackwardsBooks.com or NanciDanison.com for more information about Nanci’s books, CDs, and DVDs about her memories from the afterlife. Her fifth and most recent book, about manifesting, is titled Create a New Reality: Move Beyond Law of Attraction Theory (A.P. Lee & Co. 2018).

“This Is How We Create Love.” An Essay on Our Times.

It is my longing that makes me love you intensely,
For I yearn to be loved from the heart.
It is my eternity that makes me love you long,
For I have no end.
– Mechtild of Magdeburg, German mystic of the Beguines, 1282

This Is How We Create Love

Love is mystical in the sense that science is not yet able to quantify it. But science does agree that how we view reality is held within our brain.

We don’t really know what real love is until we experience it clearly. Many times we fall in love and then wonder, “Was that really love, or was that love false?” We get baffled by love, we get betrayed by love, we get let down by love, and then our human story of loss unfolds and disappointment becomes our belief of love.

Clarity of Love Is the Resurrection in the Faith of Love

We are now on the precipice of a great change, a great momentum in the history of humanity- The Age of Surprise. We’re seeing globally what the lie of love looks like, what false promises look like, what false judgment looks like. We are seeing the lie in front of us so we can learn how not to lie. The essence of true love cannot lie.

We Are Here to Love

We were born to flourish in the potential of our birthright, love. Love is the dream you cried out as you birthed from your mother’s womb screaming, “I am here, I am here, I have arrived!” We spend the rest of our lives trying to find our true voice, the clarity of love, again.

There Are Many Kinds of Love

There is the great love of the Divine Presence, the bliss, the Oneness of All. That love actually transcends our human experience. It is the state wherein the one are many and the many are one. The experience of the oneness of being is the blissful experience of communion with a Greater Reality and is the most wonderful and fulfilling kind of love.

It is still not enough, though, because we are human. Even experiencing that incredible place of oneness that the Yogis speak of, we are still left with a longing for the human experience of love, the closeness of a companion, the warmth of a community. Having experienced the transcendental state of love many times, I’ve come to believe that to truly transform as humans, to be truly enlightened, we must experience both of these types of love- the divine love and the human love. To deny oneself of one or the other is like eating a piece of cake while taking off all the frosting; you don’t really get to enjoy the pleasure of the full cake.

The idea that human love is not as holy as divine love has led us to believe that we are not capable of loving each other with the complete capacity with which we can love the Father God or the Mother Divine. But if we are in fact divine beings, if we are in fact made in the image of God, then as we love one another in our humanness, this love is also capable of being a divine love, because we are divine beings, created from divine light in a divinely human form.

Love Is the Myriad of Experience

Love is like a diamond of rainbow colors. Each facet is beautiful. Sometimes you can step back and see the entire diamond and say, “Oh yes, there are many beautiful facets.” Then, sometimes you’re inside the diamond; you’re inside one facet or another. These are the different aspects and experiences of love. Each experience is important. Each facet as part of the whole creates the diamond’s brilliance. Love is like that.

Love Is Clarity of Consciousness

Clarity of consciousness is like clear water. It’s a superconductor. It is a carrier of frequency, and love is a frequency.

Love Is Intimacy

At its core, human love is about becoming truly intimate with another and understanding the other person. When you love someone, you desire to love them the way they want to be loved. There is a learning curve to this. But you want to put in the time and the effort because, well, you love the other person.

Love Requires Maturity

It takes a mature person to see, know, feel and sustain true love. Love requires contemplation and reflection. Was I my most loving self today? How can I love better?

Love Requires Wisdom

Without wisdom, love breaks. Unlike the diamond, love is fragile, even the divine love. Without constant practice, communion with the divine slips away like a glove in the night.

Wisdom keeps the enemy of love, the ego mind, at bay, ensuring your love is sustained and nurtured to grow and grow.

To have a fulfilling experience here in this human world we require both kinds of love: the divine communion and the human communion. It is that simple. Yet, it is that complex. We are the complicated diamond of 8 billion facets attempting to love the best we know how. And that is where “the one are many and the many are one” gets complicated.

Clarity of love is the love divine that drives us on our journey to become more than we ever thought we could be. Love.

Human love, the touch of the senses, the support of one to another – this ultimately is the love that will heal our world. To experience divine love is to know how to give human love. And this is how we create love.

About the Author:
Deirdre Hade is a mystic, artist and visionary elucidating the spiritual world. For more information visit her website at: www.deirdrehade.com

Love Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash

Anxiety: Beyond the Psychobabble

Those who suffer from anxiety and its related disorders understand it isn’t just disheartening, but an often-debilitating, life-destroying condition. And even worse, there’s a flood of books on the market conveying half-baked techniques that rarely actually work.

But that all now stops thanks to NLP practitioner Kevin Mullin and his new book, ‘Anxiety, It’s Time to Go’.

Just like the title, Mullins’ breakthrough text marks anxiety’s “grand finale” for its sufferers around the world, as they prepare to step into a new life free of the condition.

Synopsis:

Anxiety, It’s Time to Go is not just another self-help book. It is ‘the’ self-help book. It uses cutting-edge tried and tested methods that have been used time and time again to remove anxiety from people each and every day. Anxiety, It’s Time to Go will explain everything in simple terms and then show you exactly how to combat the things that hurt and control us when it comes to anxiety. The easy-to-follow exercise and instructions have been made straightforward without all the psychobabble that most people use. We say it as it is and then show you exactly how to remove it. This might just be the best thing you have done when it comes to beating crippling anxiety once and for all.

“The over-riding goal with this book was to make it as straightforward and actionable as possible, with no fluff and no BS,” explains the author. “The fact of the matter is that anxiety is an epidemic in society these days and, unless someone steps in to do something about it, it’s going to continue destroying lives around the world.”

Continuing, “You need no prior understanding of NLP to use my book to change your life, and you also don’t need to fully understand your own anxiety. If you suffer, or even think you do, what I have to teach will radically improve your mental health and the overall quality of your life.”

Reviews have been extremely positive. One reader writes, “I was given the book to read and I loved it. It was one of those books that I did not want to put down but equally did not want to finish, as I was enjoying it too much (like saving a new dress ‘for best’). It was all so simple, it made sense and it worked!!! Now, I am not going to elaborate more, because I am now too busy living anxiety-free! Too busy enjoying life. Planning life. Too happy to even think about the old me who wasted so much time feeling anxious, stressed, miserable, not wanting to be here. So, read it for yourself.”

‘Anxiety, Its Time to Go’ is available now: https://amzn.to/2DvLkDQ.

About the Author:

Kevin Mullin enlisted in the British Army aged fifteen years and eight months. He served in several conflict areas and operations around the globe, then at the age of thirty-four, he left the service and became a private military operator. Kevin was contracted to the United States Department of Defense, securing and protecting US Military bases and assets in Afghanistan. Kevin worked there for four years before moving to one of the most valuable targets in Afghanistan in the heart of Kabul – The Serena Hotel. Kevin studied NLP within the British Army and gained a wealth of knowledge and experience, training the trainers in the methods of approaches to NLP. Having suffered the loss of both his brother and mother, he was crippled with anxiety for many years. Kevin searched relentlessly for new, dynamic ways to beat it.

Having taken an apprenticeship with Ali Campbell, Kevin finally found what he was looking for. He understudied and role modelled Ali to great effect. In June 2017, Kevin opened his very own NLP practice based in Central Scotland. The practice has received rave reviews about Kevin’s new, dynamic and direct approach. He has helped thousands of clients become anxiety-free. Kevin has gained plaudits from Italy, Dubai and America for his dynamic and enthusiastic approach to motivational speaking and helping businesses and organisations flourish and grow. He is also a full-time parent. He raises his children with the approach he takes in life and in his crusade to help everyone in the battle with anxiety. Drive, determination and a vigour unparalleled in this modern age.

About the book:

Paperback: 132 pages
Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers (30 Jan. 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1528929748
ISBN-13: 978-1528929745

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

7 Tips for Beating the Post-Holiday Blues

Studies show that the third week of January can be the most depressing time of the year. This is due in part to the cold weather in many parts of the country, post-Holiday blues, credit card bills arriving from Holiday over-spending and more.

National wellness expert, Dr. Magdalena Kerschner, better known as Dr. K, is a Board Certified Anesthesiologist and Interventional Pain Specialist. Dr. K’s practice treats hormonal imbalance via natural hormone replacement therapy, as well as overall wellness.

Through her new book, “Get Your Mojo Back”, Dr. K. addresses the most common and emotional and physical problems that many women are facing. The book shares secrets to natural hormone replacement as well as case studies with patients suffering from excessive fatigue, weight gain, hot flashes and night sweats, depression, rheumatoid arthritis, abdominal hysterectomy, and more.

For women over forty-five old experiencing hormonal imbalance, this time of year can be even more excruciating as they are also managing cyclical or hormonal headaches, on-going fatigue, disrupted sleep, weight-gain, hot flashes and night sweats.

With over 57 million women in the US currently at menopause stage, programs dedicated to improving women’s wellbeing in this area are key.

“I want women to know that we do not have to endure sleepless nights, chronic fatigue and a sexless existence. We can enjoy high quality productive lives without premature broken bones well into our late years and beyond menopause,” said Dr. K.

“I am proud to launch the #GetYourMojoBack Challenge, encouraging women to reclaim their power and re-prioritize their health and happiness,” added Dr. K.

The #GetYourMojoBack Challenge encourages women to commit to following a daily Mojo tip, ending with a full commitment to reclaim their power by making an appointment with their health specialist for an annual health plan.

Women can share their commitment online on Dr. K’s Facebook page to enter for a chance to win a $500 luxury health and beauty basket and one of ten autographed books by Dr. K.

Seven Tips on Getting Your Mojo Back:

List Three Things You are Grateful for In Your Life
Breathe in Love, Breathe out Gratitude
Practice Mental Diet. Think Only Positive Thoughts
Get a Good Night Sleep
Celebrate Life by Doing Something Special for You – Learn Something New, Travel
Follow Your Pleasure – Dancing, Cooking, Fashion, Community Volunteerism
Reclaim Your Power – Make an Appointment with Health Specialist to Discuss Menopause / Post Menopause Health Plan

For More Tips on Getting your Mojo Back, please visit: https://www.facebook.com/victoryantiaging

About Dr. K

Dr. Magdalena Kerschner is a Board Certified Anesthesiologist and board certified Interventional Pain specialist. She completed her medical school education, at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit Michigan and subsequent anesthesiology residency at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, KY.

After many years of practicing traditional medicine and treating illness after it has already developed, Dr. Kerschner realized that preventing disease before it starts results in healthier and happier patients. The concept of prevention of illness has awakened in her an interest in weight management and bio identical hormone replacement therapies as a modern way to promote physical and emotional wellness.

For more information, visit www.VictoryWellness.com

About the book:

Get Your Mojo Back: Dr. K’s Secrets To Natural Hormone Replacement

Publisher: InSPAration Management (November 29, 2018)
Publication Date: November 29, 2018
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B07L19YMW1

Over the Speed Limit: How to Drive, Ecstatically Alive, Past 55

The day before I turned 55 I received a letter from my bank. The auxiliary checking account I’d opened for online transactions would shortly be assessed an $8 monthly fee unless I a) maintained a $1000 minimum balance, b) deposited $250/month or c) used my ATM card at least ten times per month, none of which was feasible for me.

A bit put out by this parsimonious behavior from a bank I’d found customer-centric until then, I contacted the assistant manager. She skimmed the letter and said confidently, “We’ll find a solution.” After a couple of basic usage questions, she asked, “Are you 55?” I exclaimed, “My birthday’s tomorrow!” She said, “Then the account is free,” and scrawled, “55+ FREE” across the notice in red marker.

This was my first encounter with the unexpected perks of my seniority.

Sea Change in Consciousness

Coming of age as a member of the silver tsunami is a sea change from growing older in yesteryear. As the Boomer wave grays the globe, some members of this tribe have concocted playful descriptions: “chronologically gifted” and “over the speed limit” are two of my favorites.

Language matters, because, like the mirror, it reflects how we see ourselves. Cross-cultural anthropologist and author Angeles Arrien once shared how a child stroked her grandmother’s cheek, crooning, “Grandma, you have such pretty designs on your face.” Too young to “know better,” the little girl viewed her grandmother’s facial lines as fine art. Wrinkles can signify ripeness, wisdom, and a life lived by design, indeed.

Yet even as robustly alive as many of today’s elders are, I’m nowhere near ready for “Gran Central Station,” as I refer to the exuberant participants at the senior center. And therein lies the conundrum.

“Forty is the old age of youth. Fifty is the youth of old age,” wrote French novelist Victor Hugo 150 years ago. Hugo lived to be 83, pretty “ripe old” for the 19^th century. His observation is daunting to me, because I don’t feel remotely on the cusp of old age.

Marc Freedman agrees. Of the description “young old”, the author of The Big Shift: Navigating the New Stage Beyond Midlife asks, “Are most people in their 50s and 60s in anything resembling ‘old age’? Are they elderly? Senior citizens? (Why not child old for those in their 40s, infant old for the late-thirties set, and prenatal old for latter twentysomethings?)”

This can be a juicy time. Visionary OB/GYN Christiane Northrup, MD, author of The Wisdom of Menopause, says midlife brings potential for regeneration. She cites research showing women in their 60s and 70s enjoy the best sex of their lives. Clean out emotional debris, claim your power — and it’s an erotic feast.

A Place of Passionate Possibility

Just as old age was reimagined as “the Golden Years” and retirement as a destination, Boomers now in midlife and beyond are rapidly reinventing this time as a place of passionate possibility.

In The Big Shift, Freedman chronicles how Granville Stanley Hall published Senescence: The Last Half of Life in 1922, when he was 76. Hall characterized this period as “a precious bud of vast potentialities” and urged older people to step up:

“We rarely come to anything like a masterly grip till the shadows begin to slant eastward, and for a season, which varies greatly with individuals, our powers increase as the shadows lengthen.” True to his teaching, Hall’s greatest creativity and achievement came after age 50.

One of my defining moments arrived while reading Deathing by Anya Foos-Graber, an uncommon guide to creating a spiritually informed dying process. The composite protagonist, Selma, in preparing for a grace-filled departure from this life, shares an inner vision of seeing people on a half-built bridge, “spilling into the sea, drowning in their own ignorance because they had no bridge, no reality construct to cross from this shore to the Other Side, from one reality to another.”

As a voice instructs Selma to “Build them a bridge,” I realized with chills of recognition that my recurring childhood dream of a train on an unfinished track jutting out into space was Spirit dispatching my mission statement: Become a world-bridger, build the bridge between mainstream and metaphysical. I was initially shown my life purpose in a dream at age eight, and only completely understood this early message at 55! I reveled in awe and gratitude for this belated awareness — even though I’ve been living “on purpose” for years.

How can we awaken to the clarion call of who we are, whatever our chronological age? Freedman says that by midlife, life has become a run-on sentence in dire need of punctuation, and he proposes a metaphorical semicolon to capture the sense of renewal and redirection.

Becoming An Elder of Excellence

Anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson, author of Composing a Life and Composing a Further Life, calls for establishing “a midlife atrium”: a sabbatical of sorts that functions as an opportunity to let in more light and air — which is precisely how Kathy Bates describes this shift in the film Fried Green Tomatoes. When her perplexed husband asks his quintessentially evolving wife, “What’s changed?” she muses, “Oh, the air and the light.”

Bateson writes, “The doorway to this new stage of life is not filing for Social Security but thinking differently and continuing to learn.”

We all have the choice to become “Elders of Excellence,” a Louise Hay euphonic. Even the word “elder” confers an essence of wisdom and respect that seems lacking when we append “ly”, transforming the vibrant, vintage noun into a frail, forgotten adjective.

Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi, author of the wise guide, From Age-ing to Sage-ing, says we become elders not by accruing years, but by harvesting our wisdom in service to others — future generations, yes, but also our peers who may be aging fearfully.

Elders, he writes, “have an ongoing responsibility for maintaining society’s well-being…They are pioneers in consciousness who transmit a legacy to future generations. Serving as mentors, they pass on the distilled essence of their life experience to others. The joy of passing on wisdom to younger people not only seeds the future, but crowns an elder’s life with worth and nobility.”

Wonder and Wisdom

Perspective shifts as we do. I learned this profoundly from my lifelong friend Ellie, who lived alone after her husband’s transition until she was nearly 96. At 72 she began writing letters to the editor of her local newspaper, expressing strong opinions about the salient issues of the day. Most of her letters were published, and in 2009 the paper ran a front-page profile lauding Ellie’s 22 years of chirographic activism.

When I interviewed her at age 92, Ellie shared how she was a surrogate mom to “lots of young people.” I was 48 at the time and wondered what she meant, since to me “young people” were in their teens and early twenties. I was amused by her reply: “In their fifties.” By the time you’re 92, fifty is young.

Ellie’s enduring gift has been the joy with which she greeted each morning, her gratitude for “being accepted” by Source for one more day on Earth, keen to give it her best and create a little more beauty in the world. The last time I saw her, she scampered down three flights of stairs (yes, at 95) and pressed her nose against the glass prior to opening the door to her apartment building, causing me to giggle.

“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,” sang Lee Ann Womack, and she might have been channeling Ellie. Although my friend never learned to drive a car, she lived over the speed limit in every sense of the phrase. As elders-in-training, we can all embrace this teaching: when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, DANCE!

About the Author:

Amara Rose is a guide for conscious evolution. A former personal health columnist for Nation’s Business magazine, she’s written for numerous body/mind/spirit and holistic health publications. Learn more at LiveYourLight.com, where you can subscribe to Amara’s resource-rich monthly newsletter.

Photo by Annie Spratt